Signs Of Internet Addiction

You know you have an Internet addiction when . . .

Your web site bookmark list takes 5 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.

You turn off your computer and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new web site address in print or on TV, even though you’ve never had heart problems before.

You step out of your room and realize that your family has moved and you don’t have a clue when it happened.

You turn the sound up on your computer when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

You can’t communicate with your mother…she doesn’t have an e-mail address.

You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you check it again.

You don’t know the gender of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

Your husband tells you he’s had the beard for 2 months.

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

Your spouse makes a new rule “The laptop cannot come to bed.”

Your dog has its own home page.

Your dog’s homepage is actually good.