A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?” He said, “I heard…
Doctors and Medicine
A guy walks into his doctor and says, “Doc, you gotta help me, I can’t remember anything!” The doc asks, “How long have you had this problem?” The guy says, “What problem?”
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt uneasy, not knowing about all the new technology. A technician…
The public health nurse was teaching new parents how to care for their infants. As she was demonstrating how to wrap a newborn baby in blankets, a young couple turned to her…
A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?”…
Late one night, a man walks into a dentist’s surgery and says, “Excuse me, can you help me? I think I’m a moth.” Dentist: “You don’t need a dentist. You need a…
An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer: “As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say ‘$75.’ … If his…
A doctor walked into his office where one of his patients was sitting. The doctor told the patient, “I have good news, and I have bad news. Which do you want me…
Joey and his classmates had just finished a tour of the local fire hall. Before each student could leave, the fire chief quizzed him. He asked little Joey, “What do you do…
As part of the admission procedure in the hospital, the nurse asked the patients if they were allergic to anything. If they were, the nurse would print it on an allergy band…
A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, what should I do?” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you fool!” the man said, “this is her…
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. “As you can see,” she says, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically…