School

Cautious Student

A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions. The student took a seat in the hall and stared at the test for five minutes. He then…

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Worker Ants

The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from…

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Dean’s List

College student: “Hey, Dad! I’ve got some great news for you!” Father: “What, son?” College student: “Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean’s list?” Father: “I certainly do.”…

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The Test

Johnny was taking an exam. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a _________.” Johnny was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed…

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Back From Vacation

Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and was now back at school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that Johnny was misbehaving. “Wait a…

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Classic Glass Problem

One day in philosophy class they spent a great deal of time debating whether the glass was half full or half empty. After the class, one student was feeling pretty good about…

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Math Homework

Son: Dad, will you do my math for me tonight? Dad: No, son, it wouldn’t be right. Son: Well, you could at least try…

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School Daze

Teacher: How did the Vikings send secret messages? Student: They used Norse code! First Kid: Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine. Second Kid: So what’s…

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Handwriting Analysis

A five year old boy joined a new school. His new teacher asked, “can you read and write?” He replied that he could write but not read. The teacher handed him a…

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Dirty Hands

A teacher saw a lad entering the classroom; his hands were very dirty. She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came…

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English Class Phrases

Funny phrases written by children in English class… “I loved her so much that I put her on a pedal stool.” “She left him because he took her for granite.” “In the…

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Counting In The Courtyard

A group of people were touring a university campus and they noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. “What are they doing?”…

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