Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker? A: A bird that talks in morse code! Q: What flies through the jungle singing opera? A: The parrots…

What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird. Where do birds meet for coffee? In a nest-cafe. What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek? Fowl play. What…

I have a friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother me, so I suggested he see a doctor and have his legs…

What kind of doctor fixes broken web sites? A URLologist.

Jimmy: “Hey, Mike! How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.” Mike: “To tell the truth, I’m really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him…

Patient: “Nurse, I just swallowed my pillow!” Nurse: “How do you feel?” Patient: “A little down in the mouth.”

The number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. “Sorry I can’t serve you,” states the barman. “Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger…

Cleaning out the aviary at a run-down zoo, the keeper found two finches that had dropped dead from old age. He picked them up and placed them in a sack. After cleaning…

World’s shortest blues song: “I didn’t wake up this morning…”

Patient: “Doctor, I keep thinking I’m Mickey Mouse. And other times, I think I’m Donald Duck.” Psychiatrist: “How long have you been having these Disney spells?”

A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it? Answer: 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it…

A man took a new job and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. To make the task less onerous, he invited several…