A European pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. “Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he…
A man walked into a lawyer’s office. “What are your rates?” he asked. “Fifty dollars for three questions,” the lawyer replied. “Isn’t that awfully expensive?” the man asked. “Yes,” the lawyer replied….
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one…
Everyone had weighed in, and the diet workshop leader began her lecture on the week’s topic: the problems of dining out. She talked about alternatives, such as requesting diet sodas and dressings,…
Because of a dense fog, a steamboat had to stop at the mouth of the river. A passenger demanded to know the cause of the delay. “Can’t see up the river,” the…
In a Department Store: Bargain Basement Upstairs. In an Office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken. In another Office:…
Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working…
In the photo department of a local pharmacy the pictures were sometimes developed incorrectly. If this occurred, the clerk did not charge the customer. Once a man came to pick up his…
A real estate agent was showing a woman through a beautiful room at the top of a large hotel. “Now in this wing we have the master bedroom, bath and den.” The…
Lunching with a friend in a fast food restaurant, I was telling her about a teenager who had rear-ended my car. The teen blamed me for the accident. “She called me every…
A teenaged girl was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving lesson. As she was pulling out of the parking lot, the instructor said, “Turn left here, and don’t…
Velma was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. Velma exclaimed, “Wow —…