Miscellaneous

Stopping the Steamboat

Because of a dense fog, a steamboat had to stop at the mouth of the river. A passenger demanded to know the cause of the delay. “Can’t see up the river,” the…

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Humorous Signs

In a Department Store: Bargain Basement Upstairs. In an Office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken. In another Office:…

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Funny Answering Message

Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working…

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Blotchy Photos

In the photo department of a local pharmacy the pictures were sometimes developed incorrectly. If this occurred, the clerk did not charge the customer. Once a man came to pick up his…

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Hotel Room Viewing

A real estate agent was showing a woman through a beautiful room at the top of a large hotel. “Now in this wing we have the master bedroom, bath and den.” The…

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The Book

Lunching with a friend in a fast food restaurant, I was telling her about a teenager who had rear-ended my car. The teen blamed me for the accident. “She called me every…

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Turning Left

A teenaged girl was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving lesson. As she was pulling out of the parking lot, the instructor said, “Turn left here, and don’t…

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Danger-Seeking Dinos

Velma was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. Velma exclaimed, “Wow —…

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Airline Food Menu

It was meal time on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. “What are my choices?” he asked. She replied, “Yes or No.”

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At Rope’s End

A monastery was perched high upon a cliff and the only access to reach it was by way of riding in a basket which several monks hauled up to the top. Obviously…

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Speedy Jigsaw

On a shopping trip to the city, a backwoods farmer bought a 24-piece jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished. “Look what I’ve…

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A Birthday Number

A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang “Happy Birthday” to him. But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had…

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