ATTAINABLE New Year’s Resolutions

This year, I resolve to…

– Gain weight. At least 20 pounds.

– Stop exercising. Waste of time.

– Read less. Makes you think.

– Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff.

– Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

– Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.

– Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

– Get in a whole NEW rut!

– Start being superstitious.

– Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.

– Create loose ends.

– Get more toys.

– Get further in debt.

– Stay off the International Space Station.

– Wait around for opportunity.