Q. Why did the football coach send in his second string?
A. To tie up the game.

Quarterback: “Hey Coach, my doctor says I can’t play football.”
Coach: “You didn’t need to see your doctor – I could’ve told you that.”

Q. Why is a pilot like a football player?
A. They both make a lot of touchdowns.

Q. What do you call a psychic who plays football?
A. A hunchback.

Coach: “For a while it looked like we really had a chance.”
Interviewer: “Then what happened?”
Coach: “The game started.”