Things you don’t want to hear during surgery:

– Better save that, we might need it later.

– Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop.

– Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

– Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?

– Hand me that…uh…that…uh…..thingie.

– Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?

– Darn, there go the lights again…

– Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

– Could you stop that thing from beating; it’s throwing my concentration off.

– Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?

– Don’t worry, I think it’s sharp enough.

– FIRE! Everyone get out of here!