Set the alarms on all the clocks in housewares.

Hide in a clothing rack. As people move past squeak, “Pick me! Pick Me!”

When an announcement comes over the speakers, grab the arm of the person next to you and say, “Did you hear something?”

Try pants on backwards in the clothing department. Ask the salesperson if they make your behind look big.

Leave the plastic connector on a new pair of shoes, and wander around the shoe department taking two-inch steps.

When a clerk asks if they can help you, ask her, “will you be my friend?”