All Jokes

The Four Stages of Life

1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.

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Fearsomely Funny

Q. What is a ghoul’s favorite slurpee flavor? A. Lemon-slime… Q. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A. A stake sandwich… Q. What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?…

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Monster Laughs

Q. Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? A. They’re too wrapped up in themselves… Q. What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving? A. Fasten your sheet belts……

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Spooky Humor

Q. What is a vampire’s favorite sport? A. Casketball… Q. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? A. Spelling… Q. What is a vampire’s favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving… Q. What would…

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Costly Fishing Trip

Two avid fishermen go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They…

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Best in the Land

A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been travelling in circles. “We’re lost!” One of the…

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Halloween Treat

This past Halloween my brother had an unexpected guest, an old friend from high school. Instead of being home to greet trick-or-treaters, as he had planned to do, he went out with…

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Halloween One Liners

Q. What does a goblin buy when he goes shopping? A. Grosseries… Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? A. Frostbite… Q. How do witches keep…

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European Tour

A group of tourists was being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. “This place,” the guide told them, “is 600 years old.” There were appreciative murmurs from the crowd. “Not a…

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Settling An Argument

A couple on vacation was driving their RV through Wisconsin. As they approached the town of Oconomowoc they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth…

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Returning the Trick

One Halloween, a trick-or-treater came to a woman’s door dressed as “Rocky” in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Shortly after she gave him some goodies, he returned for more. “Aren’t you the…

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Is That Gilligan?

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a thin bearded man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands. “Who is it on that island?” a passenger asks the captain….

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