Bad Puns

The New Nurse

A newly hired nurse listened while the doctor was yelling, “Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!” She asked another nurse, “Why is he going on like that?” The experienced nurse replied, “Oh, he just likes…

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Cycling Dentist

Q: What do you call a Dentist who rides a motorcycle and wears a black leather jacket? A: The Leader of the Plaque

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Ants

Where do ants go for their holidays? Frants! What do you call an ant who skips school? A truant! What do you get if you cross ants with ticks? All sorts of…

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An Elephant’s Memory

An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river. “What…

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More Ants

Who was the most famous ant scientist? Albert Antstein! What games to ants play with elephants? Squash! What do you call an ant who likes to be alone? An independant! What do…

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Unfortunate Bean

These two green beans were crossing the highway when one of them was hit by a large truck. His buddy scrapes him up and rushes him to the hospital. After hours of…

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Creepy Crawlies

What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big holes in your garden! What did the termite say to the chair? It’s been nice gnawing you! What…

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Van Gogh’s Family

The famour artist Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here’s a list of some of his lesser known relatives: -The brother who bleached all his clothes white…Hue Gogh -The sister…

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Moooo-sic To The Ears

There are these two country farmers milking their cows. While the one farmer is milking, a fly zooms into the cows ear. The cow starts jumping around, shaking its head and mooing….

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Tiger One-Liner

Why do tigers live in the jungle? They hate city traffic.

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Snow White with a Twist

After Snow White used a couple rolls of film taking pictures of the seven dwarfs, she mailed the roll to be developed. Later she was heard to sing, “Some day my prints…

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Reorganization

The patient is adamant: “Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans–” “Whoa! Slow down there, fellow. What makes…

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