A magician was performing on a cruise ship. The pay was okay, but there was just one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows every week knew the tricks. In the middle…

“My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering… how many calories are in a mouse?” “How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband’s toothbrush?” “How can…

A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday. An hour later, when wandered through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of…

Two dog owners were bragging about the intelligence of their pets. “The brightest dog I ever had,” said one, “was a Great Dane that used to play cards. He was great at…

One day a man went to an auction to bid on a parrot. He kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than…

Once there was a family of mice. One day, the mother said that they needed food. So the first mouse went to get some cheese when he came back his mom said…

Two snakes were out taking a stroll when one turned to the other and asked, “Are we poisonous?” “Why yes we are,” said the second. Again the first snake asked, “Are you…

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom, why have I got these huge three toed feet?” The mother replies, “Well son, when we trek…

1. The dog is not allowed in the house. 2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms. 3. Ok, fine, the dog is allowed in all…