Kung Fu student asks his teacher “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated. And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls […]

A guy walks into a bar and says “Give me a shot of your finest Whiskey, and pour one for yourself on me!” The bartender is surprised but pleased, so he pours […]

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. The desk sergeant replied, “You would get your chance in […]

A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner…. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there […]

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains […]

A vacuum cleaner salesman came to my door, out of nothing poured a bag of dog sh*t on my carpet without asking my permission and said, “Sir, if this vacuum can’t clean […]

A man walks into a bar and says “I’m here to drink my troubles away!” “Well mister, you’ve come to the right place. Welcome” says the bartender, “What will it be, what […]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual […]

So I asked my girlfriend what she would want for her birthday next week She said: “Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds.” I asked her: “What […]

A woman is walking her dog along the pier When suddenly the dog slips and falls in to the rough sea below. Distraught, she begins to scream for help as the waves […]