All Jokes

Baby Weight:

The Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing of the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but there…

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Dentist Bill:

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. “I’m shocked!” she complained. “This is three times what you normally charge.” “Yes, I know,” said the dentist. “But you yelled…

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More Doctor Doctor:

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone. Are you choking? No, I really did! Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses You certainly do – this is a bookstore! Doctor, Doctor my son…

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Doctor Doctor:

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m suffering from Deja Vu! Didn’t I see you yesterday? Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep. That’s baaaaaaaaaad! Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards….

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It Figures:

There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born. The nurse came out and told the first father, “Congratulations, you’re the father of…

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Emergency Housecall:

A doctor answered his phone late in the evening and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth player for poker,” said…

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Hospital Forms:

An lady walked into the admitting office of a hospital and walked up to one of the clerks. She was handed some forms to fill out and told to return when she…

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After the Anesthetic:

An overworked father was visiting a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor’s every move, he asked, “What’s that?” The doctor explained, “This is an…

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Watery Problem:

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The…

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The Vet Sees the Doctor:

A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him:…

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Under The Bed:

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. You gotta help me, I’m going crazy!” “Come to…

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Frantic Fatherhood:

A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, what should I do?” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you fool!” the man said, “this is her…

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