All Jokes

Flying Entitlements

As a crowded airplane is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his mother…

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The Hand He Was Dealt

A bunch of guys were sitting around a table playing a game of cards. “I win!” exclaimed Johnson, at which point Henderson threw down his cards. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson…

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Daytime Television

A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. “Do you watch much television here?” “Only the daytime shows,” the inmate said. “At…

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Fee For Service

Two brawny men came to a woman’s house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not…

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Real Pearls

Two older women, Coleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a social circle met at a Christmas party at their country club. “My dear,” said Melinda, “Are those real pearls?” “They are,”…

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George And the Dragon

A poor traveler was wandering along a country road in England, tired and hungry, when he came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: “George and the Dragon.” He knocked gently…

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Part Number 669

A parts manager for a small repair shop had occasion to order part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699…

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Change Of Instrument

A drummer decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, “I’d like to look at…

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Being A Gentleman

What is a gentleman? Somebody who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.

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Witness To The Moon

An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly take the…

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Duelling Barbers

A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place. They put up a big bold sign which read… “WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR…

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Birthday Greetings

A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang “Happy Birthday” to him. But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had…

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