All Jokes

Stopping the Steamboat

Because of a dense fog, a steamboat had to stop at the mouth of the river. A passenger demanded to know the cause of the delay. “Can’t see up the river,” the…

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English As A Fifth Language

A European pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. “Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he…

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Mystery Tipping

A man takes his seat in the theater, but he is too far from the screen. He whispers to the usher, “This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery…

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A Long Climb

Bill, Jim and Scott were staying in a 75-story hotel. One afternoon they were told that the elevators were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get…

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Missing the Story

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it. Fifty people fooled! Fifty people fooled!” A man walked over, bought a paper, and checked…

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Lost in Space

One night on my way home after working way to late, I was thinking about Lost in Space, the Movie, and how it was left with the definite possibility of a sequel….

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The Drums Have Stopped

A scientist went to the jungle to do research. About noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. The biologist asked the guide, “What are…

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Proper Chainsaw Usage

This fellow goes to a tool store to buy a chainsaw. The dealer sells him the top-of-the-line model, saying that it would cut through 100 trees in one day. The fellow takes…

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Maybe It’s Not A Baby

A woman gets on a bus holding her baby. “That’s the funniest looking baby I’ve ever seen,” says the bus driver. In a huff, the woman slams her fare into the box…

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A Top-Notch Salesman

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him. “Guess…

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Inventions That Didn’t Succeed

– The waterproof towel – Glow in the dark sunglasses – Solar powered flashlights – Submarine screen doors – A book on how to read – Inflatable dart boards – A dictionary…

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Last Day of Skiing

On the first day of vacation, the girl fell and broke her leg. As the doctor examined her, she moaned, “Why couldn’t this have happened on my last day of skiing?” The…

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