Normal people believe that if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn’t broken, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

A monastery was perched high upon a cliff and the only access to reach it was by way of riding in a basket which several monks hauled up to the top. Obviously…

A teenaged girl was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving lesson. As she was pulling out of the parking lot, the instructor said, “Turn left here, and don’t…

Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working…

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one…

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. 3. I will…

Three old men, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine spring afternoon. One remarked to the other, “Windy, ain’t it?” “No,” the second man replied, “It’s Thursday.” And…

On her way back into the movie from the concession stand, Julie asked a man at the end of the row, “Pardon me, but did I step on your foot a few…

A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor, “what…

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. “I’ll never do that…

This particular Wizard worked in a modern factory. Everything was satisfactory except that some of his co-workers took advantage of his good nature, and would steal his parking spot. This continued until…