Elderly Couple in Church
This little elderly wife and her husband never missed a Sunday service in 35 years. I believe they even sat in the same pew. They were very special to the church and one Sunday, the church wanted to present a beautifully engraved plaque. Coincidentally, it was their 52nd anniversary, and additionally wanted to surprise them with the total of the collection, at the end of the service.
At the beginning of the sermon, the Preacher was talking about how a dieaty, God, had created the Earth in 7 days and somehow during, the husband started to doze off and fell asleep rather quickly.
As his snoring grew louder, I noticed the Wife rummaging through her bowing bag sized purse, pulling out a little safety pin and gave him a poke. The Husband jumped up and yelled “Hallelujah!”. The Preacher, didn’t miss a beat following up by shouting “AMEN!”
As the service went on, I remember a story of a person named Moses and the Preacher telling us how he parted the Red Sea. Well, as you may of guessed, her Husband started to fall asleep again, snoring. The Wife didn’t have to rummage for anything this time, having the safety pin still in her hand, she just gave him another prick and the husband jumped awake yelling “Hallelujah!” With the preacher following up with “Amen, Amen!”
The service was drawing to an End and bearing time to present our gifts. The Preacher thought it would be good to go back to the beginning and talk about Adam and Eve, likely segwaying into a conversation about their Wedding Anniversary. He was in the middle of discussing children and what Eve might have said when she had her first child. As you guessed it, the Husband started to fall asleep and snore again, quite a bit louder than the first two times.
The Wife, still with the pin in her hand gave him a much less subtle prick and more of a huge poke. This time Husband shot straight up and yelled for the whole place to hear, IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’M GOING TO BREAK IT!”