A man takes his seat in the theater, but he is too far from the screen. He whispers to the usher, “This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery…
Miscellaneous
Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: How old is your son-the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t…
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. 3. I will…
Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose a few pounds she had put on recently. “Great,” Sue exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can…
A European pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. “Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he…
A man walked into a lawyer’s office. “What are your rates?” he asked. “Fifty dollars for three questions,” the lawyer replied. “Isn’t that awfully expensive?” the man asked. “Yes,” the lawyer replied….
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one…
Everyone had weighed in, and the diet workshop leader began her lecture on the week’s topic: the problems of dining out. She talked about alternatives, such as requesting diet sodas and dressings,…
Because of a dense fog, a steamboat had to stop at the mouth of the river. A passenger demanded to know the cause of the delay. “Can’t see up the river,” the…
In a Department Store: Bargain Basement Upstairs. In an Office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken. In another Office:…
Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working…
In the photo department of a local pharmacy the pictures were sometimes developed incorrectly. If this occurred, the clerk did not charge the customer. Once a man came to pick up his…