Doctors and Medicine

It Figures:

There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born. The nurse came out and told the first father, “Congratulations, you’re the father of…

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A Non-Diagnosis:

A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattled off, “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked…

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Honestly Cute:

When two parents brought their new-born son to the pediatrician for his first checkup, the doctor said, “You have a cute baby.” Smiling, the father said, “I’ll bet you say that to…

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Doctor Doctor:

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m suffering from Deja Vu! Didn’t I see you yesterday? Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep. That’s baaaaaaaaaad! Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards….

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Polite Shots:

While a woman was working as a pediatric nurse, she had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day she entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her…

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Flat Out Treatment:

A man returned from vacation feeling very ill. He went to see his doctor, and the doctor had him immediately rushed to the hospital for a range of tests. The man woke…

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More Doctor Doctor:

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone. Are you choking? No, I really did! Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses You certainly do – this is a bookstore! Doctor, Doctor my son…

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Operation Expenses:

A woman was having a medical problem – her husband’s snoring. So she called the doctor one morning and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her “suffering.”…

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Fountain Of Youth:

Old Sam Johnson went to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gave him a clean bill of health. “Sam, you’re in…

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Dentist Bill:

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. “I’m shocked!” she complained. “This is three times what you normally charge.” “Yes, I know,” said the dentist. “But you yelled…

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During Surgery:

Things you don’t want to hear during surgery: – Better save that, we might need it later. – Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop. – Spot! Spot!…

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Extracting The Bill:

Dentist: “Try to relax. I’ll pull your aching tooth in five minutes.” Patient: “How much will this cost?” Dentist: “It will be $200.” Patient: “That much for just five minutes work?” Dentist:…

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