A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?”…
Doctors and Medicine
Late one night, a man walks into a dentist’s surgery and says, “Excuse me, can you help me? I think I’m a moth.” Dentist: “You don’t need a dentist. You need a…
An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer: “As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say ‘$75.’ … If his…
A doctor walked into his office where one of his patients was sitting. The doctor told the patient, “I have good news, and I have bad news. Which do you want me…
Joey and his classmates had just finished a tour of the local fire hall. Before each student could leave, the fire chief quizzed him. He asked little Joey, “What do you do…
As part of the admission procedure in the hospital, the nurse asked the patients if they were allergic to anything. If they were, the nurse would print it on an allergy band…
A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, what should I do?” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you fool!” the man said, “this is her…
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. “As you can see,” she says, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically…
Doctors at a local hospital have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the doctors’ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to…
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. You gotta help me, I’m going crazy!” “Come to…
A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. “I’m shocked!” she complained. “This is three times what you normally charge.” “Yes, I know,” said the dentist, “but you yelled…
While making rounds, a doctor pointed out an X-ray to a group of medical students. “As you can see,” she said, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically…