Doctors and Medicine

Extracting The Bill:

Dentist: “Try to relax. I’ll pull your aching tooth in five minutes.” Patient: “How much will this cost?” Dentist: “It will be $200.” Patient: “That much for just five minutes work?” Dentist:…

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Baby Weight:

The Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing of the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but there…

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Canine Complex:

A man walked into the office of an well known psychiatrist and sat down to explain his problem. “Doctor, I’ve got this problem,” the man said. “I keep thinking that I’m a…

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Fall Of Duty:

Part of the job as an emergency dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so the appropriate emergency equipment can be sent. One day a woman called…

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Get Better Soon:

A retired man who volunteered to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one hospital and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs…

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Unattached Nurse:

Catherine, a nurse, was unhappy with her job, so she submitted her resignation. She was sure she’d have no trouble finding a new position because of the nursing shortage in her area….

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Memory Problem:

A guy walks into his doctor and says, “Doc, you gotta help me, I can’t remember anything!” The doc asks, “How long have you had this problem?” The guy says, “What problem?”

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New Hospital Technology:

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt uneasy, not knowing about all the new technology. A technician…

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Baby Wrapping:

The public health nurse was teaching new parents how to care for their infants. As she was demonstrating how to wrap a newborn baby in blankets, a young couple turned to her…

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Eating Problems:

A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?”…

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I Think I’m a Moth:

Late one night, a man walks into a dentist’s surgery and says, “Excuse me, can you help me? I think I’m a moth.” Dentist: “You don’t need a dentist. You need a…

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Seeing The Charges:

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer: “As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say ‘$75.’ … If his…

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