World’s shortest blues song: “I didn’t wake up this morning…”
Bad Puns
Patient: “Doctor, I keep thinking I’m Mickey Mouse. And other times, I think I’m Donald Duck.” Psychiatrist: “How long have you been having these Disney spells?”
A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it? Answer: 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it…
A man took a new job and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. To make the task less onerous, he invited several…
A newly hired nurse listened while the doctor was yelling, “Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!” She asked another nurse, “Why is he going on like that?” The experienced nurse replied, “Oh, he just likes…
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker? A: A bird that talks in morse code! Q: What flies through the jungle singing opera? A: The parrots…
I have a friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother me, so I suggested he see a doctor and have his legs…
Jimmy: “Hey, Mike! How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.” Mike: “To tell the truth, I’m really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him…
Patient: “Nurse, I just swallowed my pillow!” Nurse: “How do you feel?” Patient: “A little down in the mouth.”
The number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. “Sorry I can’t serve you,” states the barman. “Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger…