Animals

Is That Thing Leaking?

A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday. An hour later, when wandered through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of…

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Saucy Art

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely…

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Calling The Dog Names:

Two dogs were walking along a road. One dog stopped and said, “My name is Fido. What’s yours?” The other dog thought for a minute, and then replied, “I think it’s Down…

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Dog Vs. Cat

A dog thinks: These people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be awesome!…

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Strange Pet Hot Line Questions

“My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering… how many calories are in a mouse?” “How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband’s toothbrush?” “How can…

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Small Town Sheriff

In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town’s veterinarian. One night the phone rang. The sheriff’s wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, “Is your husband there?”…

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Barking Up the Wrong Tree

John, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 4:00 A.M. by his ringing telephone. “Your dog’s barking, and it’s keeping me awake,” said an angry voice. John…

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The Tattle-Tale Parrot

A magician was performing on a cruise ship. The pay was okay, but there was just one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows every week knew the tricks. In the middle…

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How Many Dogs…

…Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb? Border Collie: Just one – me! Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Change it yourself! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease…

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Cat-Scratch Sofa

A young girl adopted a stray cat. To her parents’ distress, the cat began to use the back of their sofa as a scratching post. “Don’t worry,” the father reassured the mother,…

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Cross-Eyed Dog

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Alright,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks…

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Feline Physics

Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the sound of a can-opener, or a scurrying…

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