One day a man went to an auction to bid on a parrot. He kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than…
Animals
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, his face covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the…
After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, “How many…
To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it’s raining. If the dog is standing…
Two dog owners were bragging about the intelligence of their pets. “The brightest dog I ever had,” said one, “was a Great Dane that used to play cards. He was great at…
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take…
A man walked into a pet shop and said, “I’d like a puppy for my son.” “Sorry, sir,” said the store owner, “we don’t take trades.”
A buyer was considering purchasing an old thoroughbred horse but wanted a veterinarian’s opinion of the horse before finalizing the deal. When the vet had completed his examination the potential buyer asked,…
A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday. An hour later, when wandered through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of…
Two dogs were walking along a road. One dog stopped and said, “My name is Fido. What’s yours?” The other dog thought for a minute, and then replied, “I think it’s Down…
A dog thinks: These people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be awesome!…