A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Alright,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks…
Animals
Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the sound of a can-opener, or a scurrying…
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop very high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning,…
This guy goes to a pet shop. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it’s right leg. He asks…
Q: Which bird is always out of breath? A: A puffin! Q: What’s got six legs and can fly? A: Three pigeons! Q: What is a duck’s favorite TV show? A: The…
At the dog park, a lady had two rather large rottweiler dogs. On being asked the dogs’ names by another park visitor she replied, “one is called Timex and the other Rolex.”…
A passenger train is creeping along slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees the conductor walking by outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow on the…
A flock of sheep were grazing in a field by the road, happily going “baa baa” to each other and discussing life as usual. At once point a car drove by and…
A poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle turned to the collie and complained, “My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away, and…
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching…
Q: Who is the bees favorite singer? A: Sting! Q: Who is the bees favorite pop group? A: The bee gees! Q: How does a queen bee get around her hive? A:…
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my…