A man walked into a shoe shop and asked for a pair of shoes, size 8.

The sales assistant said: “Are you sure, sir” You look like a size 12 to me.”

“Just bring me a size 8,” insisted the customer.

So the assistant fetched a pair of size 8 shoes and the man squeezed his feet into them with obvious discomfort. He then stood up in the shoes, but with considerable pain.

“Listen,” he explained, “I’ve lost my house to the taxman, I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with my best friend, and my son just told me he’s a drug addict. The only pleasure I have left is to come home at night and take my shoes off!”