“It’s no good, sir,” said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. “I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other.” “Goes in both ears…
All Jokes
Jimmy’s English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So it was only to be expected that he would get furious when Little Jimmy handed in a…
Two teachers, a physicist and a mathematician, were sitting in the faculty lounge. Suddenly, the coffee machine sparked and caught on fire. The physicist grabbed a bucket and leaped towards the sink,…
A boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. “Wonderful,” said his mother, “what part is it?” The boy grinned, “I…
The teacher was quizzing the grade one class on counting. “Who knows what comes after three?” “Four,” answered little Timmy. “What comes after six?” “Seven,” answered little Suzie. “Very good,” the teacher…
“If you had a dollar,” quizzed the teacher, “and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?” “One dollar,” answered little Johnny “You don’t…
The teacher asked, “What is the chemical formula for water?” Little Johnny replied, “HIJKLMNO!!” The teacher, puzzled, asked, “What on earth are you talking about?” Little Johnny replied, “Yesterday you said it…
Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing…
A five year old boy joined a new school. His new teacher asked, “can you read and write?” He replied that he could write but not read. The teacher handed him a…
Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and was now back at school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that Johnny was misbehaving. “Wait a…
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from…
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: “If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I’ll promise not to…