Parents

Dirty Little Boys

A little boy fellow came in from playing in the yard, covered from head to toe in dirt, and asked his mother, “Who am I?” Thinking this was a new game she…

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Helping With Dinner

A fifteen-year-old boy came bounding into the house and found his mom in bed. He asked if she were sick or something. He was truly concerned. Mom replied that, as a matter…

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Moving Out

During an argument with his parents, young Michael cried, “I want excitement, adventure and money. I’ll never find it here at home, so I’m moving out! Don’t try and stop me!” With…

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Fighting Fair

“I’m ashamed of you,” the mother said. “Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!” “He threw a rock at me!” the boy said. “So I threw one at…

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A Gleaming Pistol

A three-year-old boy opened the birthday gift from his grandmother and he discovered a water gun. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. The boy’s father was not so…

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Dependants

A man, submitting information to his income tax preparer, was asked how many dependents he had. “Fifteen,” he replied. The preparer asked, “Excuse me? Would you mind repeating that?” The man replied,…

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Let Sleeping Dads Lie

A father had three boys. One summer evening, they were all playing cops and robbers in the back yard after dinner. One of the boys “shot” his father and yelled, “Bang! You’re…

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A Profitable Harmonica

Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas,” Little Johnny said to his Grandfather. “It’s the best Christmas present I ever got.” “That’s great,” said his Grandfather, “do you know how…

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Best Behaviour

A property manager was showing an apartment to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. “Are you employed?” he asked. “Yes, both of us,” the wife answered. “Children?” “Oh, yes, ages nine…

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Tonsillectomy

A family was on the way to the hospital where their teenager was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride they discussed how the procedure would be performed. “Dad,” the teenager…

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You Know You Are Old When

1. Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work. 2. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bi-focals. 3. You get into a heated argument about pension plans….

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Waking The Baby

The first-time father, beside himself with excitement over the birth of his son, was determined to do everything right. “So, tell me, nurse,” he asked as his new family headed out the…

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