Miscellaneous

Inventions That Didn’t Succeed

– The waterproof towel – Glow in the dark sunglasses – Solar powered flashlights – Submarine screen doors – A book on how to read – Inflatable dart boards – A dictionary…

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Family Feud Fumbles

Great Wrong Answers Name an occupation where you need a flashlight – A burglar Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers – A horse Something you do before going…

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Jury Duty

“Please, Your Honor, I’d like to be excused from jury duty,” pleaded an anxious-looking man. “Why should I excuse you?” asked the judge. “You see, I owe a man fifty dollars, and…

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Shopping Trends

Shopping for a black sweater, a woman couldn’t find anything suitable in a very trendy clothing store. A helpful saleswoman offered to check the store catalog. After flipping through the pages, she…

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A Top-Notch Salesman

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him. “Guess…

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Poor Actor

A poor actor was having trouble paying his rent. One morning his landlady caught him in front of the building and demanded her money. “Couldn’t you please give me a break?” begged…

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Signs Of Getting Old

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember…

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House Advantage

“This house,” said the real estate salesman, “has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I’m honest, I’m going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that…

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Maybe It’s Not A Baby

A woman gets on a bus holding her baby. “That’s the funniest looking baby I’ve ever seen,” says the bus driver. In a huff, the woman slams her fare into the box…

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Tough Questions

Are trick-or-treaters in sheets going as ghosts – or mattresses? If a kid swears using sign language, do you wash his hands with soap? Is there another word for synonym? Where do…

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The Laws of Philosophy

The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher. The Second Law of Philosophy: They’re both wrong.

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T-Shirt Slogans

I childproofed my house, but they still get in. On the front: 60 is not old. On the back: …If you’re a tree. My reality check just bounced. Life is short, make…

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