Miscellaneous

Speedy Jigsaw

On a shopping trip to the city, a backwoods farmer bought a 24-piece jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished. “Look what I’ve…

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A Birthday Number

A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang “Happy Birthday” to him. But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had…

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Engineering View

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

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A Boring Book

Julie stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, “I have a complaint!” “Yes, ma’am?” “I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!” “What was wrong with…

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Tuning Reminder

It seemed that every time John the piano tuner came to Mary’s house, he scolded Mary for waiting too long between tunings. Mary agreed with John that it should be done every…

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If It Isn’t Broken

Normal people believe that if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn’t broken, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

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The Brake Breakdown

Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought an unreliable car and called for a ride every time it broke down. One day Sherry got yet another one of those calls….

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Pretzel Charity

A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time and as he passed her…

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Heavy Delivery

A man walks into a post office to send a package to his wife. The postmaster says, “This package is too heavy, you’ll need another stamp.” The man replies, “And how would…

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Inventions That Didn’t Succeed

– The waterproof towel – Glow in the dark sunglasses – Solar powered flashlights – Submarine screen doors – A book on how to read – Inflatable dart boards – A dictionary…

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Family Feud Fumbles

Great Wrong Answers Name an occupation where you need a flashlight – A burglar Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers – A horse Something you do before going…

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Jury Duty

“Please, Your Honor, I’d like to be excused from jury duty,” pleaded an anxious-looking man. “Why should I excuse you?” asked the judge. “You see, I owe a man fifty dollars, and…

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