A grocery store clerk asked a lady the who was coming through his check-out, “Ma’am, would you like your milk in a bag or not?” “That’ll be fine,” was her reply. The…
Getting Even
A knight and his men returned to their castle after a long hard day of fighting. “How are we faring?” asked the king. “Sire,” replied the knight, “I have been robbing and…
As a crowded airplane is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his mother…
A doctor and a lawyer met at a party. Their conversation was interrupted repeatedly by guests asking the doctor for medical advice. Finally, the exasperated doctor turned to the lawyer and said,…
A bunch of guys were sitting around a table playing a game of cards. “I win!” exclaimed Johnson, at which point Henderson threw down his cards. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson…
A passenger train is creeping along, very slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees the conductor walking by outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow on…
A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. “Do you watch much television here?” “Only the daytime shows,” the inmate said. “At…
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at Larry’s house. He knocked on the door and Larry answered. After taking the pizza, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?” “Well,” replied the youth,…
Two brawny men came to a woman’s house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not…
An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything he runs…
Two older women, Coleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a social circle met at a Christmas party at their country club. “My dear,” said Melinda, “Are those real pearls?” “They are,”…
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He finally went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a hearing aid that…