A drummer decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, “I’d like to look at…
Getting Even
A flight attendant watched one day as a passenger who was overloaded with bags tried to stuff his belongings in the overhead bin of the plane. Finally, she informed him that he…
What is a gentleman? Somebody who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.
A man approached an ice cream van and said, “I’d like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please.” The girl behind the counter replied, “I’m very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn’t…
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local native. “What is it made of?” she asked. “Alligator teeth,” the native replied. “I suppose,” she said patronizingly, “that they mean as…
An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly take the…
Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local…
Linda: “What’s that you’re reading?” Jill: “A diary.” Linda: “What does it say?” Jill: “I can’t tell you that. A diary is a highly personal and confidential thing, with words that are…
A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place. They put up a big bold sign which read… “WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR…
An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented “These are beautiful! You must have…
A group of high school students played a prank on the school administration. They let three goats loose in the school building. Before they let them go they had painted numbers on…
A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang “Happy Birthday” to him. But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had…