The Golden Saloon


A drunk comes staggering into the park blind drunk and sits himself down on a bench next to some other drunks. “Where have you been all night?” asks his friend.

“At this fantastic new bar,” he says. “The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden.”

“Bollocks! There’s no such place!” snorts his mate.

The drunk says, “Sure there is! The joint’s got these huge golden doors and a golden foor. Fuck, even the toilets are gold!” His mate doesn’t believe his story, so the next day checks the phone book, and, sure enough, there is a place across town called the Golden Saloon. He calls up the place to check his mate’s story.

“Is this the Golden Saloon?” he asks.

“Yes, it is,” a woman answers.

“Do you have huge golden doors?”

“We certainly do.”

“Do you have golden floors?”

“Most certainly do.”

“What about golden toilets?”

There’s a long pause, then he hears the woman shouting, “Eric, I think I got a lead on the guy who shat in your saxophone!”