Specially trained parrot

A man walks into a pet store, interested in a parrot. He notices a gorgeous bird with a red ribbon on its right ankle and a blue ribbon on the left ankle. The man asks the store owner about the ribbons.

“Oh, this is a specially trained parrot. If you tug on the red ribbon, the parrot will recite the Declaration of Independence. If you tug on the blue ribbon, he recites the Gettysburg Address.”

“That’s pretty awesome,” the man responds, “but what happens if you tug both at the same time?”

The parrot answers the man, “I’d fall off my perch, you moron.”