Plane Crash

Three men crash in a plane over the Amazon rainforest and are immediately captured by cannibals

To their surprise, the cannibals don’t immediately kill them. Instead, they show the men (through pictures and such) the beginning of an ancient ritual which, upon successful completion by the men, will result in their freedom.

For the first step, they are instructed to go off into the jungle and collect ten pieces of a single kind of fruit.

The first man comes back triumphantly holding ten oranges. He is overcome with dismay when the second part of the ritual is revealed to him: he must now put all ten of the fruits up his ass without making the slightest noise, or he will be killed.

He fits an entire orange up there but when he starts to put the second in, he whimpers in pain. The cannibals kill him on the spot, roast him, and eat him.

The second man returns with a handful of ten grapes. The second part of the ritual is also explained to him, and he feels confident he can succeed. Sure enough, he starts popping them in his rectum one by one, and eventually is left with only one grape to go. However, as he is about to insert it, he suddenly bursts out laughing. The cannibals murder him and eat him.

The two men meet each other up at the Pearly Gates. The first man can’t believe it.

“You were almost there!” He says to the second man. “You could’ve lived! Why did you laugh?”

“Because,” says the second man, “I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples.”