Doctors and Medicine

Comforting Words:

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?” He said, “I heard…

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Doctor Doctor:

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m suffering from Deja Vu! Didn’t I see you yesterday? Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep. That’s baaaaaaaaaad! Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards….

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Polite Shots:

While a woman was working as a pediatric nurse, she had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day she entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her…

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Flat Out Treatment:

A man returned from vacation feeling very ill. He went to see his doctor, and the doctor had him immediately rushed to the hospital for a range of tests. The man woke…

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More Doctor Doctor:

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone. Are you choking? No, I really did! Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses You certainly do – this is a bookstore! Doctor, Doctor my son…

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Operation Expenses:

A woman was having a medical problem – her husband’s snoring. So she called the doctor one morning and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her “suffering.”…

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Fountain Of Youth:

Old Sam Johnson went to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gave him a clean bill of health. “Sam, you’re in…

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Dentist Bill:

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. “I’m shocked!” she complained. “This is three times what you normally charge.” “Yes, I know,” said the dentist. “But you yelled…

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During Surgery:

Things you don’t want to hear during surgery: – Better save that, we might need it later. – Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop. – Spot! Spot!…

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Extracting The Bill:

Dentist: “Try to relax. I’ll pull your aching tooth in five minutes.” Patient: “How much will this cost?” Dentist: “It will be $200.” Patient: “That much for just five minutes work?” Dentist:…

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Baby Weight:

The Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing of the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but there…

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Canine Complex:

A man walked into the office of an well known psychiatrist and sat down to explain his problem. “Doctor, I’ve got this problem,” the man said. “I keep thinking that I’m a…

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